Friday, April 18, 2014

Ode to the atheist

Oh mighty Atheist,
Thank you for coming to this comment section and blessing us with your cosmically unplanned presence.
Please, oh please, great "High Priest of Random Chance", give us your wisdom. Oh, coincidental paragon of know-it-all-ism, please help us poor, befuddled Christians think as smart-a-logical-like as you.
Please make more comments. Please, let us bask in your accidental wise-assery. After all, we only came here in hopes of having the privilege of reading your ramblings from on haphazard high.
Don't leave, please. We couldn't have arbitrary light and warmth without you. Oh whatever would we do without your stupid comments, re-written histories, unsolicited insults, and your soulful song of "Science proves you're wrong because I say so without presenting any actual facts - how sweet the sound".
Praise you, oh wise Atheist. If only we could have such incidental insight as yours.
Tell us tales of heroic mass-murders committed by Atheist High Priests in the last century. 100 million murdered. Ahhh yes. Only you could love us so much, oh kind and gentle Atheist.
Tell us of the "Great Logic" of believing in statistical impossibilities occurring a trillion times over while blowing off all other possibilities and ignoring all evidence to the contrary. Oh, if only our faith was as virtuous and strong as yours.


Stolen from a comment, I do not remember from where...

Surprise Surprise Surprise


Saturday, March 1, 2014

R.I.P Andrew.

Andrew Breitbart died in the early hours of March 1, two years ago. He was a light and a prodigy to many, and had an incomparable effect on the nature of blogging and the Conservative movement.

Andrew inspired and amused us. But more, he believed in the ability to be able to change the pattern, and the worth of the citizen journalist in that endeavor.

With great gratitude to many who carries the banner high, and who every day exemplifies his spirit.

Remember we are all BREITBART.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Unions

Useless
Non-producers
Insisting
On
National
Socialism

'nuff said!

Monday, February 10, 2014

PETA Wants Memorial Erected To Chickens Lost In Traffic Accident


Stolen from weaselzippers comment section


In other related entertainment news...Over at ABC:

DISNEY CANCELS MOVIE PROJECT:

CNN reported today that Walt Disney's new film called "Jet Black," the African-American version of "Snow White” has been cancelled. 

All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Homeboy, and Shank have refused to sing "Hi Ho" because they say it offends black prostitutes. They also say they have no intention of singing, "It's off to work we go."

My hos, my hos,

It's off to work they goes

When they get laid, I get paid

My hos, my hos, my hos


HAT/Tip cabrerski & josephistan  

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The Night Before Obamacare


-Twas the night before Obamacare, and all through the land
The enrollment deadline was frighteningly at hand.
The pink slips were hung by the chimney with care,
And hopes for employment simply weren’t there.
-The children were huddled, asleep in their beds
While visions of high premiums took hold of our heads.
And Ma in her “kerchief, and I in my cap,
With nary a clue and a policy gap.
-When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Oh my GOD, please tell me that THAT’S not a rash.
-The policy I liked had been taken away
And the DOCTOR I liked had told me NO WAY.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Canadian bus and 2 REALLY large ears.
-It was a little old campaigner, so my door I did lock,
I knew in a moment it no doubt was Barack.
More rapid than vultures the coursers they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now Harry! Now Nancy and Jarret, you vixen!”
“ON Sebelius! On Carney! This law I’ll be fixen’”
Get AWAY from my house, stay OUTSIDE the wall!!
BE GONE ,BE GONE, BE GONE WITH YOU ALL!!!
-As dry leaves that before his bloviations did fly,
When they meet with the TRUTH just as plain as the sky.
So UP in the yard the coursers they flew,
With a crock full of crap and a teleprompter too.
-And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the night,
That Ted Cruz was the one who was actually RIGHT!
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
THROUGH MY WINDOW, UNINVITED, CAME BARACK WITH A BOUND!
-He was a bald-faced liar, from his head to his foot,
And his website was still down, not working, kaput.
A bundle of promises he had flung on his back,
He was nothing but a con man, a shyster, a hack.
His eyes didn’t twinkle, what he had, was a leer,
As he made a noise in his throat and said, ”Let me be perfectly clear.”
“You’ll LIKE socialism, You’ll see, Just go with the flow,”
And “I’m a Marxist, TRUST me You’ll LOVE it, I KNOW!”
He gave me a smile as he lied through his teeth,
And the smoke he was blowing encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a thin face and not much of a belly,
But his WIFE’S double wide keester, THAT shook just like jelly.
-She was chubby and plump, and looked like a Wookie
And I laughed when she told me to put down the cookie.
A wink of his eye and a twist of her head,
Soon led me to know I had PLENTY to dread.
-Barack finally stopped talking, but went straight to his work,
Redistributing wealth, good grief, what a jerk.
And flipping the finger while thumbing his nose,
And leaving us nothing, up the chimney he rose!
He jumped on his bus, to his team gave a shout,
And away they all sped, the minions…The lout.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“I’VE TAKEN YOUR INSURANCE AND CANCELLED YOUR RIGHTS!!!!”


H/T dereid49

Thursday, September 12, 2013

My Favorite Things

My Favorite Things
—apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein, and “My Favorite Things”
Mossbergs and Rugers, AK-47s
Colt automatics from 1911
Triggers adjusted for easy firing
These are a few of my favorite things
Walnut grips finely cross-hatched for good traction
Vintage carbines with an easy bolt action
Revolvers with nickel plate or with bluing
These are a few of my favorite things
Clips upon which traces of gun grease linger
Hunting mittens with separate trigger fingers
Bayonet clips and thick webbing for slings
These are a few of my favorite things
When the politicians pander
And cry “Guns must go!”
I quickly drive down to the nearest Wal-Mart
And stock up on more ammo!

 HatTip to the great buzzsawmonkey @ http://weaselzippers.us

Thursday, July 4, 2013

One Pissed off Canadian Housewife

REMEMBER…SHE’S CANADIAN

Thought you might like to read this letter
to the editor. Ever notice how some people
just seem to know how to write a letter?
This one surely does!
This was written by a Canadian woman, but oh how
it also applies to the U.S.A. , U.K. and Australia .

THIS ONE PACKS A FIRM PUNCH

Written by a housewife in New Brunswick , to
her local newspaper. This is one ticked off lady…

“Are we fighting a war on terror or aren’t we? Was
it or was it not, started by Islamic people who
brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001
and have continually threatened to do so since?
Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered
that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from
the capitol of the USA and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn’t they?
Do you think I care about four U. S. Marines urinating on some dead Taliban insurgents?
And I’m supposed to care that a few Taliban were
claiming to be tortured by a justice system of a
nation they are fighting against in a brutal Insurgency.
I’ll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle
East, start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief
of which, is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan ..
I’ll care when these thugs tell the world they are
sorry for hacking off Nick Berg’s head, while Berg
screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.
I’ll care when the cowardly so-called insurgents
in Afghanistan , come out and fight like men,
instead of disrespecting their own religion by
hiding in Mosques and behind women and children.
I’ll care when the mindless zealots who blow
themselves up in search of Nirvana, c are about the
innocent children within range of their suicide Bombs.
I’ll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that
their freedom of Speech on stories, is more important than
the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting
at home, to hear about them when something happens.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a
CANADIAN soldier roughing up an Insurgent
terrorist to obtain information, know this:
I don’t care.
When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the
head when he is told not to move because he
might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:
I don’t care. Shoot him again.
When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed ‘special’ food, that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being ‘mishandled,’ you can absolutely believe, in your heart of hearts:
I don’t care.
And oh, by the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes
it’s spelled ‘Koran’ and other times ‘Quran.’
Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it.
I don’t care!!
If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to
all your E-mail Friends.. Sooner or later, it’ll get to
the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!
If you don’t agree, then by all means hit the delete
button. Should you choose the latter, then please don’t
complain when more atrocities committed by r adical
Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:
Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering, if
during their life on earth, they made a difference in
the world. But, the Soldiers don’t have that problem.
I have another quote that I would like to
share AND…I hope you forward All this.
One last thought for the day:
Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The British Soldier.
3. The Canadian Soldier.
4. T he US Soldier, and
5. The Australian Soldier
One died for your soul,
the other four, for you and your children’s Freedom.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON,
AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET!
AMEN! GOD BLESS CANADA AND AMERICA .